Jamie: I don't consider myself an "abuse survivor." I think that
term has been so over-used, exploited and trivialized in some corners by
application to the smallest of problems ("My father once hit me when I
was 12 so now I'm an axe murderer/going through regression therapy in
search of one more time when it might've happened") that it takes away
from people who've had terrible, mind-bendingly awful backgrounds with
serious personal violence, sexual violation, psychological torture and
other aberrations. I'll probably get roasted for this, but it does seem
to me that talking about one's "abusive childhood" has become the newest
trend, and one more way of denying personal responsibility for who one is
and what one does...and, ultimately, detracts from the attention and
needs and real problems of those who *have* suffered terribly.

Yeah, I had a crummy childhood, followed by a crummy adolescence;
vast sections of it were a nightmare. Fundamentally...so what? I never
considered that anyone's had a Leave It To Beaver childhood. Some were
better, some were worse. Doesn't mean I still don't get pissed about it,
doesn't make me any more willing to have contact with my family, but I
have never considered myself in the light of those two words. That, to
me, is one more manifestation of the victim mentality that seems to be
all OVER the place.

People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much
energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and
not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past,
and getting on with their lives.

And, again, I *very carefully and specifically* exclude from this
discussion, and the preceding paragraph, those who've gone through true,
serious abuse in childhood, who must spend years rebuilding their lives
and their trust and their emotional infrastructure.

jms