Start with the end of the story. Then the beginning.

The end of the story finds jms sitting at his desk, elbows on
desktop, hands covering face...as from somewhere behind those hands comes
a high-pitched, keening, mournful sound audible only to dachsunds and
banshee-groupies.

The beginning of the story?

John Copeland, our producer, shows me something that John Iacovelli
came into the office bearing...a B5 cap. It's a very nice Babylon 5 cap.
Stitching's a little off, though, I notice...not bad, but noticeable.
I learn it's commercially available. Well, still and all, not a bad
thing, I decide, trying to figure out why John's smiling at me in this
really weird fashion. People have been asking for B5 caps, and now they
can buy them through, it seems, Creation Entertainment, as this was
bought at a Creation store in Glendale (Sci-Fi Universe), and it's a
Creation produced item, under their license....

Then the tag hanging from the back of the cap slips out into my
hand, dangling from that little white-plastic-string-thingie they stick
through labels.

And what does the label on that white-plastic-string-thingie say?

OFFICIAL LICENSED PRODUCT, PARAMOUNT TELEVISION.

We never get a break...never...ever...the horror...the horror....

..eeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEeeeee........
jms