Of course, bear in mind that there *is* no correct answer to
Sebastian's question...because no matter what answer you give, the
question will be repeated. It's a process, not a goal, designed to
tear down the artifices we construct around ourselves until we're left
facing ourselves, not our roles. At some point the "answer," such as it
is, must transcend language.

Since the episode aired, I've received many notes from philosophy
teachers and religious instructors and those who ran the Synanon game
noting that they've used that technique as well, or intend to do so from
now on.

jms

BTW, to Jeannette, Laura, JM Egolf, Sarah, all the others, thanks
for openly discussing what are surely difficult issues; it's been very
instructive, and helpful for the future. And the discussion itself has
been moving and insightful; thanks for risking and giving in this way.

jms

Jamie: I don't consider myself an "abuse survivor." I think that
term has been so over-used, exploited and trivialized in some corners by
application to the smallest of problems ("My father once hit me when I
was 12 so now I'm an axe murderer/going through regression therapy in
search of one more time when it might've happened") that it takes away
from people who've had terrible, mind-bendingly awful backgrounds with
serious personal violence, sexual violation, psychological torture and
other aberrations. I'll probably get roasted for this, but it does seem
to me that talking about one's "abusive childhood" has become the newest
trend, and one more way of denying personal responsibility for who one is
and what one does...and, ultimately, detracts from the attention and
needs and real problems of those who *have* suffered terribly.

Yeah, I had a crummy childhood, followed by a crummy adolescence;
vast sections of it were a nightmare. Fundamentally...so what? I never
considered that anyone's had a Leave It To Beaver childhood. Some were
better, some were worse. Doesn't mean I still don't get pissed about it,
doesn't make me any more willing to have contact with my family, but I
have never considered myself in the light of those two words. That, to
me, is one more manifestation of the victim mentality that seems to be
all OVER the place.

People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much
energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and
not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past,
and getting on with their lives.

And, again, I *very carefully and specifically* exclude from this
discussion, and the preceding paragraph, those who've gone through true,
serious abuse in childhood, who must spend years rebuilding their lives
and their trust and their emotional infrastructure.

jms