It's just that I *hate* losing in public. I've now been nominated for
four awards: an Ace Award, a Bram Stoker award, a Gemini award, and a Writers
Guild award, each for writing. And you just go nuts, you at first don't even
want to consider winning, then the closer you get to the event you think,
well, hell, I've got as good a chance of winning as anybody else...then you
wait...and you're there, they're opening the envelope...and you're thinking
maybe, maybe it IS me...no it's not...but it might be...and it ain't...and I
just *hate* that.

On the other hand, as I think about it, you go through the same thing
winning in public.

That's it. I'm doomed. The universe hates me.

jms